Always Treat Customers Like Royalty to Keep them Coming Back.

Going to restaurants is becoming such a pain. You don’t get treated with the respect that you think you deserve. Everyone who walks in wants to be treated like royalty. That why they complain and talk down to you like you always own them something.

So go ahead and walk into your favorite restaurant with the crappiest attitude, because we all know you’ve had a really hard day of work and you just want to take your anger out on the host/hostess greeting you at the door.

If you see that the restaurant is at capacity and there looks to be a wait, no worries just complain to our staff and we should have a table out just for you in no time! If you want a booth someone is already sitting at enjoying a nice meal, fear no we will more than gladly remove them from the table to seat you because you obviously wanted that table bad enough.

When going to dinner you should definitely be treated like the queen/king of England our customers should get everything they ask for.  One of our regular clients agreed to be interviewed, we asked him “What is the one thing you like about this restaurant?” he replied back with “I love how I can be a complete jerk to the staff and they are still always so nice and treat me like I am a famous person or something, they really accommodate my every need!”

Well that just goes to show treating customers like royalty when they are still being complete jerks is just the way to do it now and days!

Satirical Article

If you don’t have a “Bae” then who are you? In our world today not having “bae” is a real issue and a struggle for some people. Not having a “Bae” can ruin your high school reputation. Coming up on Valentines soon, if you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend by that special day get yourself a “bae” a “bae” can be anything from Nutella, your best friend, or even your bed!

We interviewed some high school students who don’t have that significant other. We interviewed stripped sweater, we asked her various questions such as “what will you be doing on valentines?” she said “I will be at home doing nothing because I don’t have a boyfriend.” Now how sad is that? We told her to get a “bae” it could be anything that you love.” Stripped sweater replies “So I could call pizza my bae?” “Yes! Anything!” We let stripped sweater go back to class and we came back to interview her weeks later. “So stripped sweater how is your life now that you have a bae?” “My life is amazing I’ve eaten pizza every day for the past two months and now my stripped sweaters are more like stripped crop tops!

Well that just goes to show that getting a “bae” helps your life in the most positive ways!